The dog fell off the bed last night and I didn’t really know what to do. Obviously I asked him if he was okay and he gave me this look like ‘I just fell off the bed, what do you think?!’ So he just sat there staring at me and I sat there staring at him just waiting for a response. My 2am mind apparently is convinced that animals can indeed speak English, as long as it’s not daylight. Finally he gave me this look like ‘creep, help me back up on the bed’. And I obliged. But only after squeezing him tighter than normal to make sure he was still all in one piece.
Not like he’d lose a limb or something. He fell two feet. But it never hurts to check.
I think he’s alright, it just scared him a bit. One minute he’s chasing squirrels in his dreams and the next minute he’s sprawled out on the pile of laundry that I keep forgetting to put away. At least it was a soft landing. See, laziness in housework does pay off.
So speaking of embarrassing moments, like falling off the bed, I had a few for the books this past week that might make you think I have an an arachnophobic complex, in which case you would be right.
Our cafeteria decided in the spirit of Halloween to put fake eight-legged creatures all over the place. Unbeknownst to me. And while getting water the other morning I spotted one out of the corner of my eye prompting me to convulse involuntarily while dropping my water all over the floor. Cue about thirty people staring at me in disbelief.
Then the next day, coaching myself the whole way on the fact that these were in fact, fake, eight-legged creatures, I braved the cafeteria. Walked in with determination. I was not going to get weak in the knees at the sight of these plastic, black creatures. So proud of myself. Until a hand reached out at me from under the water dispenser. I jumped back, assumed my ninja stance and realized it was a fake hand.
Oh Halloween, you got me good.
Can we go back to this just being a candy-eating holiday? All these decorations are no good.